- Derpy-Feet: It’s Derpy, man! How can he not like her. She was the first person he talked to. He told her he was a her spirit animal, but that was a lie he still feels bad about.
- Pinkamena: She’s…weird. He has equal parts fear and fascination with her. Her apathy for him is probably the only thing that’s kept him alive. Though he might push things too far on occasion, he genuinely thinks she’s never going to kill him, at least since their first meeting. He occasionally calls her Pinkie, partly because it’s easy and partly because he thinks it might calm her down. After she did eventually torture and help kill him, he is now terrified of her and has developed a phobia of salt because of her. His Madame. He enjoys being hurt by her. Has since died, and Jean greatly misses her. He hopes that she may someday return, but that is greatly unlikely.
- Pinkie: She’s like Pinkamena, only a lot nicer. He’s pretty sure they’re sisters, but not 100%. She was the first person he went to when he started taking care of Pinkamena, but then Pinkie took her back to her bakery, so he didn’t get a chance to finish treating Pinkamena. He is currently living at her bakery in the guest room. His #1 Pimp Mama.
- Sexy: The second person he played Spirit Animal to after she got drunk thanks to a Magic Anon. He really wants to play with her kid, though most people think this is a bad idea. They might have gotten married in some parallel universe or something, he’s not sure. It might have just been a booze soaked dream.
- Dr. Romana Colgate: She’s apparently NOT a pony turned into a human like most of the others, or at least that’s what he thinks. She finds the whole “talking animals” thing crazy and he likes pushing her buttons about it.
- Gilda: She’s mean. And scary. Scarier than Pinkamena. Unless he’s drunk, then he gets kind of rude. Afterwards, he kind of lost a bit of his fear of her. Something about making her lose her cool. He’s currently trying to help her with some of her issues.
- Katz: Now he’s sure this guy is going to kill him. It’s really just a matter of time, even if he does say he doesn’t plan to. He doesn’t know much about him other than he hurt Pinkamena. He’s probably the scariest person…cat…entity he knows. Also he’s immortal, has a deal with Satan and is currently dating (?) Pinkamena. They have tortured and killed him. He doesn’t like Jean’s singing voice. He was in turn tortured and killed by Jean and came close to recruiting him into The Game, promising him eternal life and a seat on the throne. Has since died permanently. Jean does not know what to feel about this, but he does miss him.
- Kristoph Xaviar Hendricks: His Boss.That’s about all he knows about him. He was worried that he didn’t care enough to fight for him, but his employer almost started a war to keep him out of Katz’ claws. He has a new found respect for him.
- The Cajun Fox: Katz old slave that Jean fought to be near. He first met him when Jean was a human under a lust spell for Katz, and was ordered to kill him but turned back into a lemur shortly afterwards and was killed by Fox. He spent a Drunken New Years morning hiding in the cupboard with him. They got very cuddly together that night. He spent at least one more night with him, and even made a deal to let him out more often if Jean was tortured and killed. He now lives at The Firm. After Katz’ death, he has left to go find himself, swearing to never return.
- The Doctor, The Doctor, the Doctor and the Doctor: He really doesn’t understand Time Travel, let alone Time Lords. He assumes they’re more of the multiverse hoo hah like Pinkie and Pinkamena. Though he does try and get the one with Curly hair to go on a Pub crawl one of these days.
- Blair: She’s just the best owner EVER! She’s a pretty lady who likes to drink with Jean and has big soft boobies. And she can turn him into a human! And the best part is she isn’t human either, she’s a cat, so she knows what living free is all about. But She has this brother, or something. He owns Jean too, but isn’t as nice as girl Blair. He makes Jean where embarrassing outfits…or turns him into a girl. Then he said she was a cute girl and took her to the bed and things got confusing.
- Xerox: Jean’s new boyfriend, enemy of the Firm with a truce, meat eating pony and clone. Also he popped his cherry, so Jean is probably super dedicated to him now.
- Fluttershy: Currently looking after him since he escaped from the circus.
- Applebloom: He doesn’t like seeing sad kids.
- Twilight Sparkle: She’ll come back some day…right?